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User blog:Killermoves/Chas Chandler (Hellblazer) vs Ken Clarkson (X-O Manowar)
In the lore of comic books, what lies behind a strong superhero is an equally helpful sidekick. Whether he be a boy wonder who always has the caped crusader's back in fistfights, a computer wizard always keeping an eye on a former vet turned vigilante, or some clumsy fatso who bumbles his way with his plastic-powered idol. Superheroes are as compelling or powerful as their sidekicks and other supporting cast. And so today, let us pit two of the lesser-known, but equally influential superhero sidekicks in comic book history! Both these two are just like us normal human beings, who got caught up in extraordinary situations courtesy of their super-powered buddies. Chas Chandler, the hapless taxi driver of John Constantine vs Ken Clarkson, X-O Manowar's cunning business associate WHO IS DEADLIEST?! Chas Chandler Chas Chandler is a middle-class cabbie working in the streets of London who is also a close friend of the magus John Constantine. He is the longest surviving member of John Constantine's cast and is one of John's oldest and most loyal friend. Chas Chandler first met John Constantine when they were young, when the magus decided to lodge in the Chandler's apartment. There, John Constantine saw the abuse that the young Chas had to endure from his insane mother and so decided to help him out. By rescuing him, Chas Chandler indebted himself to Constantine and he would later assist the magus in many of his supernatural adventures. John Constantine tends to use Chas for mostly mundane reasons, like driving him around town for free, or taking him home whenever he gets drunk. Although Constantine would try to keep Chas away from his dangerous line of work, Chas would inevitably get entangled from time to time. Chas Chandler had helped John Constantine numerous times before, especially during their fight against the birth of the anti-christ, and the battle against the Beast. John would also help out Chas in times of trouble, such as when Chas' granddaughter was afflicted with a magical curse that was ravaging the world at that time. However, Chas' relationship with Constantine had more negative effects on his life, with Chas loosing many of those he cared about, and the two would go on to have a rocky relationship throughout the Hellblazer's career. In a time when sidekicks were seen as young teenage kids, what made Chas Chandler unique was that he was just a normal middle-class man who gets mixed up with the extraordinary life of his friend. Weapons * Baseball Bat: A typical baseball bat used to bash people. As a seasoned street-fighter, Chas knows very well on how to use this. * Ace of Winchester: A supernatural lever action rifle that has been used throughout Hellblazer to fight against demons, vampires and other supernatural being. It fires magically-infused rounds that can punch harder than normal bullets. Chas Chandler once used it to blow Swamp Thing's head off with just one shot which actually stunned the elemental. It functions similarly to an ordinary Winchester rifle. * The Knowledge: A magical spell created by Barnaby Magnus, who was one of the first cab-drivers in London, and something that all cab drivers must memorize by heart to be able to navigate the city (although they didn't know of its magical properties at first). It is a powerful curse that can entrap and seal-off demons, as well as being able to separate the soul(s) from a person's body. Chas famously used it to defeat the demon Tuma-el. Although powerful, it takes a lot incantations, drawings and rituals to perform, but when it really does hit it's deadly. chas 1.png|Chas using a baseball bat against some sand illusions. chas2.png|Chas fighting off the demon Tuma'el. chas3.png|Chas using the Ace of Winchesters against Swamp Thing. Ken Clarkson Ken Clarkson was just a normal businessman when his life changed after meeting an armored superhuman from outer space by the name of Aric of Dacia. Aric was a Visigoth warrior from the time of the Roman Empire who was abducted by an extra-terrestrial species called the Spider Aliens. After spending years as a captive of the Spiders, Aric escaped by stealing their advanced war armor, fighting them off with it, and flying off to space. When he finally returned to earth, almost 2 millenia have passed and the world has changed from the last time he's seen it. And so the barbarian asked Clarkson's help in adapting to this new era. Throughout the earlier arcs, Ken and Aric's relationship started off with a bad start. In the beginning, Ken saw Aric as nothing more than a dumb barbarian while Aric saw Ken as a mere weak sissy. During that time, their friendship was filled with fighting, insults and even betrayals. But they soon found mutual respect to one another throughout their adventures, as Ken's cunning, intellect and soft gay personality complimented Aric's brutish strength, power and macho combat skills. They soon worked together in not only fighting the spider aliens, but also in taking over the Orb Industries, and fighting other superpowered menaces from the Valiant Universe. Fun fact: Ken Clarkson was one of the earliest openly gay primary characters in comic books. Weapons * Knife: A simple combat knife that Ken can use to stab and throw. Looks to be a double-edged blade similar to a Fairbairn–Sykes knife. * Fire Light: A very powerful and advanced pistol designed and used by the Spider Aliens. The fire light pistol shoots a powerful beam of super-hot laser that can penetrate a human torso, destroy vehicles and amputate limbs like arms and legs. * Metallic Arm: Ken lost his left arm during his first encounter with the Spider Aliens, and so Aric created a metallic arm using his armor to serve as Ken's prosthetic. This metallic arm is made up of super tough shanhara metal which is similar to the advanced war armor that Aric wears, and like the armor it can block hits from all sorts of firearms and alien weaponry. The arm also has super strength that can bash through concrete and crush bone, an automatic self-defense mechanism that protects the user even when he's not aware of the danger, and healing properties that can patch up any kinds of wounds. X-O_Manowar_Vol_1_7_005_Ken.jpg|Ken with his cybernetic arm. ken2.png|Ken using a knife against a thug. Ken1.png|Ken using a fire light pistol. X-Factors * Training None of these two have any sort of military, law-enforcement or other combat training, but Chas Chandler has trained in martial arts during his youth (which John Constantine hilariously called Chas' tae-kwon-do-wrench). Ken on the other hand, lacks any sort of training since he lived most of his life as a mere civilian and businessman. He probably had some combat training with Aric, but this is just speculation, and even if he had it probably wasn't that long. * Physicality Both of these character's physicality came from different reasons. As someone who knew martial arts and an avid street-fighter, Chas is pretty strong even for his old age. He can easily take on a group of thugs even if he is outnumbered, and he once survived a fight with the demon Tuma-el with nothing more than his fists and toughness. Unlike Chas, Ken is obviously below peak-human performance since he lacks bodily training , but he makes up for it because of his mentallic arm that gives him superhuman strength, durability and healing factor. With his arm, Ken can easily take on a gang of criminals and army of aliens with ease. * Durability These two guys are really frigging tough. Chas Chandler can survive all kinds of beatings, either taking hits from multiple opponents at once, or a damn fistfight with a demon-possessed human. He almost got his soul sucked by the demon Tuma-el and after their fight he just walked it off like it was nothing. Ken Clarkson is a durable guy as well since he has survived not only beatings but also being captured and tortured by aliens and other superpowered beings. During his first contact with the Spider Aliens, Ken had to go through getting his whole arm cut off, and the aliens hanging him on his feet afterwards, just to use him as a bait for Aric. And during that time, he too had to fight against aliens with nothing more than his grit. * Intelligence Chas, in a lack of a better term, isn't really that much of a genius. While he does have the wit to survive all the supernatural shenanigans that he had to go through, it was John Constantine who did more of the thinking and the strategizing. Ken is way smarter and more cunning, since his time as a businessman taught him the values of Machiavellism, deception and tactics. His intellect and planning, either before or during the heat of battle, actually saved the skin of X-O Manowar numerous times. Heck, he's smart enough to operate alien weaponry without any prior knowledge on how to use them. Read First * Battle takes place in a neutral battlefield of Arlenes, France. Chas Chandler was accompanying John Constantine to conduct an exorcism there, while Ken Clarkson was with Aric as they attend a business convention. The two would inevitably meet each other in the streets. * This will be a classic no-holds bar battle. No one is allowed to have any preps whatsoever. Battle Paris was in a gloomy state this time of the year. It was almost midnight but no stars can be seen as heavy clouds covered the whole sky. Large cold rain fell from the heavens and flooded the Parisian streets. All the locals were huddled in their little homes and apartments, not wanting to fight the rain to go out on a stroll. It seems that the city known for its warmth and love was in a state of cold loneliness. And yet in this deluge, a lone Englishman was running in the streets, desperately trying to find some refuge from the rain. His name was Chas Chandler, who was a taximan back home but a down on his luck tourist here. As Chas ran holding his jacket on his head and trying his best to hold on and cover it, all his mind can do right now was to curse and be pissed. “Chas I need your help now mate and I need you to hurry. I’m in Paris right now and Jesus wept a lot of bad shite’s happening here. I need you to hurry to my apartment, go to my bed and grab this large paperbag on top of it. And then get here in Paris as soon as you can because the thing inside is something that’s going to help me stop this shite. Don’t worry about the costs gettin’ here cause seriously the whole world needs you right now!” Those words were the last thing his dear old mate John Constantine told him on the phone. And like a stupid dancing monkey Chas took the bite, thinking that his wizard friend was in some tight supernatural trouble and that the paperbag may contain some macguffin that would help save the world. But to his damn surprise, the bag contained nothing more than hashish. His friend John Constantine was not battling demons or waging wars against warlocks; he was just high and wasted in some weed joint and “asked” poor old Chas to get more of the exotic stuff to share with the junkies he just met. There was no danger or “end of the world” situation, it was typical John Constantine being the biggest asshole in existence, and Chas being the biggest dumbass to ever fell for him. And now Chas Chandler was stuck in Paris, wet and super angry. He was hoping that the city of love might make the journey at least enjoyable and worth it, but with the heavy rains raging that made even sightseeing almost impossible tonight, this shithole wasn’t that different from the hole he just left all the way back to the channel. However, his luck seemed to have changed as he spotted an open club in the distance. Its bright lights were enticing to Chas’ weary and wet eyes, and the first thing that came to his mind was the warmth and grub that it could provide. Without second thought he went running straight to the place, and as he got closer, the buzzing party music was getting louder which gave him comfort. He finally arrived inside the club and its warm and dry atmosphere felt heavenly to him. The men there looked a bit odd but he didn’t mind since there was a bar and a whole cabinet of liquor that he can enjoy for the night. *** As Chas took a seat in the bar, on the other side of the place sat another guy who was also having a bad night. His name was Ken Clarkson, an industrial American employee and wannabe businessman who was in Paris for business. He and his team were supposed to attend an international trading convention and represent his company back in New York. But alas, the director of his company was nowhere to be found, and it wrecked his whole plan. “What do you mean you’re not coming, Aric?!” Ken said on the phone as he talked to the “acting” director, who unfortunately, was not acting like one as he’s supposed to be. The man he’s talking to the phone was Aric of Dacia, a Visigoth who was abducted by aliens and was now living among them as a superhero. Ken should have known that this barbarian won’t be disciplined or “civilized” enough to keep time like any modern folks. But then again, Aric is the X-O Manowar. If this guy was able to save the world countless of times, Ken trusted that a simple business meeting won’t be that difficult for him. “Aric, you are the CEO of Orb Industries. You need to be here!” Ken yelled. “And don’t give me that crap that you’re out there saving the world. I am not falling for that shit again! I know that you are drunk in some whorehouse right now and damn it man, you are seriously fucking this up!” As Ken continued to talk on the phone, his voice was getting louder and angrier, to the annoyance of the patrons including Chas Chandler. “Fuck you Aric! I want you here right now! Like this fucking instant! You better get your caveman’s head out of your ass, use the X-O suit and fly here as fast as you can! I know how fast that thing can go so plea—” And then Ken heard a beep, before a long silence filled his ears. Aric has just hanged up on him, and probably won’t be calling back. Enraged, Ken threw his phone to the wall and took a shot from his glass. The man was having the worst night of his life, and that one shot he just gulped wasn’t enough. He then stood up and started walking to the bar pissed, in the hopes of getting even more booze to help him get through the night. And he was walking straight to Chas Chandler’s direction. *** “Give me three shots of scotch, a couple of whiskey, and one big fat bottle of cold beer, garson,” Ken said in a pissed-off mood. Chas watched as this guy in a suit gulped each of those shots down his throat like it’s the end of the world. With a heavy and dizzy head, Ken took a sip of his beer next, before turning his eyes towards the still watching Englishman besides him. “How about you honey?” Ken asked. “You want me to buy you something to drink? I can use a company right now.” Chas turned his sight away from the drunk gay man and returned back to drinking his mug. He then said, “I’m not in a good mood either and I hate talking, so piss off.” “I like your accent,” Ken drunkely replied. “I really really need someone to talk to right now, man. It’s been one crazy night, and I don’t care if their old or butt ugly. Hell, I can even make it worth your while…” Chas looked at him with a disgusted look before saying in a loud harsh voice, “The fuck is wrong with you? What are you some fuckin’ queer? Get the fuck away from me you piece of shit.” While Chas was not intending to insult Ken, nor did he have any problems with the LBGT community, his very old-fashioned insult echoed throughout the whole club. The music that was playing suddenly stopped, and the crowd halted what they were doing and gave Chas a mean glance. It didn’t just strike Ken’s nerve; it seems that the place didn’t like what Chas said either. “You got some guts saying that, grandpa,” Ken said who seems to not be able to get a break. And now he’s going to deal with this horrible homophobe next. “Do you even know that you’re in a gay bar you bigoted asshole!” With that revelation, Chas turned his head towards the patrons in shock and embarrassment. The place that Chas has been was a gay bar all along, which explained all the bright lights, the odd music, and even the weirder people. And speaking of those patrons, they have been watching the two argue and they do not like Chas one bit. “Listen, I don’t have any problems with you people,” Chas said to the crowd as he tried to calm them all down before they chase him back to the streets. “I just want to get off the rain, that’s all. I mean no disrespect to the lot of ya’. I mean, I have a friend named Constantine who’s a bisexual—” “Ah yes the good old ‘I have a gay friend so I’m not a homophobe’ excuse,” Ken interrupted insolently. “I think it’s time for you to go now old man. Go back to the 1950s where you belong!” Ken then grabbed Chas shoulder with his metallic arm and tried to throw him through the door. But Chas body flew and crashed into a wall instead. The rest of the people lost their nerve as they saw a fight brew up, and they all bolted out of the club before they too can get hurt. Chas stood up, trying to breath the pain on his back away, and grabbed a nearby baseball bat for defense. The gay man stood up, drank the remaining beer off his bottle, and charged at Chas. But the Englishman managed to side-step away and hit Ken on the back of the heard with the bat. “You want a fight, mate? Then I’ll give you one!” “Oh, it is on Mr. Buckingham Palace,” Ken said before unsheathing his knife. He tries to swipe and slash at Chas but the latter manage to back away and dodged Ken’s attack. Chas then front kicked Ken, pushing him away before he can do more damage with that knife. He then smashed his bat on Ken’s right ribs. This attack forced Ken to fall on his knees in pain as he clutched his sides. It seems that Chas’ street fighting skills were paying him off tonight. Coughing up blood, Ken saw Chas literally seconds before the latter could smash his bat on Ken’s head. Although Ken was still crippled in pain, the automatic defenses of the Shanhara arm flared up, and it instinctively caught Chas’ bat. With great strength it easily threw Chas away, before throwing Ken’s knife with great accuracy on Chas’ shoulder. Chas yelled in pain as the blade got stuck on his shoulder, and it made him drop the baseball bat he was holding. Ken managed to finally get himself back up, and seeing Chas weakened on the club floor, Ken took the opportunity to draw his fire light pistol. He aimed the pistol at Chas but as he pressed the button, Chas managed to roll out of the way, just in time as a fiery red laser hit his position and burst it into flames. Seeing himself outgunned, Chas dove into the bar and took his sawn-off Ace of Winchester out of his bag. He then fired several rounds at Ken, but Ken managed to either dodge those shots or block them with his metal arm. With his opponent pinned down, Chas desperately grabbed a marker and drew sigils and circles on the floor. He knew that nothing he can do could penetrate that bastard’s prosthetic, and with zero options left, Chas turned to magic. He planned on unleashing the Knowledge with the hopes of taking down Ken Clarkson and send him to hell. “Bums tits and arse?...” Chas said as he tried to remembered the enchantment. The pressure of the battle was making it difficult to poor old Chas Chandler to pull off the magic perfectly. And as he desperately tried to chant the magical incantation, Ken saw his chance to finally finish this fight. He aimed his laser pistol at the cover that Chas was in, and blew up the whole bar into a thousand burning pieces. Chas was thrown a few feet away with the back of his jacket in flames, and his attempt to use magic has failed. Ken ran as fast as he can towards Chas before the Englishman can pull off any other crazy weapon to retaliate. He kicked Chas in the side as he laid down on the ground, before Ken picked him up on his neck with his prosthetic. “You should have given us more respect old man,” Ken calmly said knowing that he has already won the battle. “No. But you and your little faggy friends can go to hell,” Chas stubbornly replied. And without any further talking, Ken broke Chas’ neck with a loud snap using his metallic arm. He then threw Chas’ lifeless body back on the floor, with his nose dripping with blood and his eyes wide open and soulless. Ken then promptly left the club before the French police can arrive and arrest him. He started jogging back to his hotel even as the rain still continued to poor. This night just keeps on getting worse and worse for everyone. Expert’s Opinion While Chas had superior training, experts believed that Ken’s metallic arm proved to be more useful than the powerful-yet-slow Knowledge spell. But what really sealed the deal was Ken’s intellect which countered Chas’ reliance on brute strength. Category:Blog posts